I’m just scared of crashing again and giving in to the voice in my head that wants me to hurt me. He almost managed to hurt me last night….but my wife talked him out of it…. and my kids were home!!! I’m getting so tired of this….tired of fighting him….tired of fighting my self…. Maybe I don’t understand DID….I feel so stupid and I feel so helpless against my self…. and scared…..

My father will be here for the week end….. He thinks I’m doing great and he is happy for me…. But I am not doing great….. I am scared…. but I can’t let him know that….He gets upset and tells me to grow up…stop being so childish….stop thinking about the abuse…. I wish I could forget about that….I try not to think about it but I end up remembering more horrible things…. I need to find the “off button” for those memories….but I can’t…

I’m just so scared………We are scared…….

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