We c*t on Thursday night and had to go to the ER.
Since then Karen has been out a lot…she’s 12 and she helps me to get out of the house and have a little fun with my kids….Sort of takes my mind of the bad things in my life….. I am aware of most of the things she does …she’s pretty accurate when she writes in our journal.
But I have been finding e-mails that she has written to people that I have never heard of before. She has never wrote about those people in the journal and I wonder what to think or do about that…
I’m just wondering if this is a sign of me getting better……I mean…that my alters are “coming out” like that and communicating with other people…or is that wrong maybe? But then again I have fears about “getting better”…. There is always something there to bring me down again….. It’s like when I see a little light shining in my life it gets covered by darkness that seems 10 times darker than it was before…. I know it isn’t right though but it seems like it anyway…. It’s like that because I’ve “smelled” the light the down fall gets bigger when it comes….–
