Yesterday, Nov 5th, it was my little David’s birthday. The last time I saw him he was almost 3 years old…and now there are 11 years since the day he was born.
I remember the sad look in his eyes when we told him he couldn’t come with us this time. I took him up and told him that I loved him and that maybe we would bring him something nice from the city… he never got anything…
I wonder what we would have bought for him…. I don’t even remember what I was thinking about getting him nor what he liked…
We didn’t do as well as we hoped yesterday… I had plans to be there for Sunna… we were going to go to the cemetery together… I couldn’t…I was to scared… and I allowed myself to go deep inside and hide from the world… hide from the pain and the sadness. I should have tired harder…I should have been able to be there for Sunna… She is always there for me when I need her… and this once I couldn’t…. The voices are shouting at me inside… and I know they are right….I didn’t try hard enough….
