Thoughts of ending it all

I wonder why I hang on….I didn’t tell a friend how I was feeling this morning…. I haven’t spoken to her muc lately… we’ve both been busy…
I told her I’m getting better… but am I? will I ever be “normal” again? …will I be abel to enjoy things like going outside… will I be able to go to a public place with out feeling scared and wanting to hide or let someone else inside go for me?… What is the point og going on if I can’t get better…. I will be a burden forever… that has to end…