The last few days I have not been good… I have done bad things to my body and tried I tried to take my life last night… I should be in hospital right now but I managed to put that on hold until I see my doctor later today…. Honestly I don’t know what I want anymore…. do I want to die or keep on fighting? Is the SI just a coward’s (me) excuse to suicide? I broke bones, I have 3 broken ribs on my left side and 3 on the right…. and I don’t know how many stitches from my last two episodes… writing it…or even thinking about it makes me feel that I am very crazy and maybe I should be locked up somewhere…. or dead….
I can’t write more now with out letting everyone down so I’ll stop… See you later all