My father was here this weekend… This has never been a secret really but we don’t get along very well… I haven’t written or talked about him much in the past… but something happened this weekend that I need to get out in the open. I have to talk about him now because I am afraid that if I don’t I will just go back to where I was 3 years ago… back to the silence…
I came so close to deleting this website Saturday, but I am really glad that it is still here…
My father is the kind of man that would almost do anything to defend the “family honor”, and I guess in his life he has had to do that a lot… He had a crazy wife and he has a crazy son… right? But isn’t it overdoing it a little when you close your eyes to something like seeing your child’s body with cuts and bruises and you know why that is?
This is something that he told me a few years ago… It was around 1962… my dad comes home from work…the little child…his son… my older brother… is found in the back yard…. on the ground, and open window above and his wife acts like nothing has happened… For her that little boy never existed….
He knew very well what had happen… but because of “family honor” this was to him “only” an accident, and somehow the death of my brother was filed as “accidental”….
To defend the “family honor” my parents moved… They started a new life and had my sister Angela and they were doing great (according to my father)…but then I was born…
I probably was a difficult child…. I cried a lot and kept my parents awake my first moths… When I was old enough to walk I started to run and I was always getting myself into all kinds of problems… I couldn’t sit still of one second…. not until I discovered the piano…
There are still a lot of gaps in my childhood memories but I am pretty sure my dad knew what was going on when he was away working. But again he choose not to do anything about it… all in the name of “family honor”.
Because of this website he is bringing this all up again… Keep quiet because it is bad for the family… What about what is bad for me dad? What about my brother? What about all the little children out there in the world that are being tortured by their parents? Should we close our eyes at them too because of their family honor????
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Gabriel)))))))))))))))))))))) I’m glad this website is here for you. Keep writing, this is for YOU, not your father.
You’re a very special, and very strong person Gab. I’m very honored to be your friend. Its been close to 3 years now, or maybe longer, since I met you. And now after meeting some of your friends, I’ve found I’m not the only one who thinks this. They don’t come any more special than you “big brother” 🙂
Lots of love
I’m so glad that you did NOT delete this web site…you need it to express your inner most thoughts and feelings and shout out to the world so that we can ALL be here for you; to support, to comfort, to listen, to cry WITH you!!! Remember, Gabe…you are NOT alone!
Peace and love,
Joybird (GROWW member)
…….. a friend of mine, a lawyer, uses to say: “The truth will set you free!” – and it’s true
…….and I want to add: “The truth will help you heal!” – and I know this is true as well!
……I’m so glad, you held on to your website; it is so important for you, for healing, and for your friends to find you and to be with you!
…… and whatever you are doing ‘for you’, – you are doing it for Sunna and for your children as well – because you all together are ‘your life and your future!’
……… honor lies not ‘outside’ in ‘keeping up appearences’; – we all know that, ………honor lies ‘inside’ in what we do, in our integrity –
…………Gabriel, you are the most courageous, brave and honorable man I can imagine! – and when they are grown up, your children will be able to ‘look up to you’!! –
(no matter of how well you were able to mend the broken pieces inside of you – pieces someone else had broken, – not you.)