I try to tell myself that the past is unchangeable and the future is mine…. that I can’t as much as I want to change anything that has happened… but still my thoughts are not letting go of it… My head nor my heart will forgive me…. I know I can’t ever forget my past…. Most people can how ever work on them selves or learn from their mistakes…. learn what is right…learn what is wrong…. or even just to take each day as it comes and live in harmony with themselves…. I haven’t been able to figure that part out yet… and maybe I never will…

Someday very soon my life as I know it here will be going though some major changes…. For 3 or 4 years now I have been putting my wife through hell… I am very sick mentally and we have to take care of our children and give them the safety they need to grow up to be healthy human beings. This is why I have agreed to move into a home that is better suited for my needs…my safety and where I can get the mental treatment that I need.
I went to take a look at this place today…. I didn’t see many people there…mostly just staff but it looked nice and maybe the biggest plus, I will be allowed to have my computer there 🙂