I am on a few mailing lists…support for DID/MPD and SI. I reply to as many post I can and try to give my support but no matter how I try I can’t give any of this support or advice to myself. On a “down period” like now, I try to take things slow…try not to fall into the pit of self hatred, guilt and suicidal thoughts….and try to survive one hour to the next…

I try to hang on to the thought that maybe there is a chance that you will start feeling better. I truly believe that all of us out there who are hurting like this will have that chance one day…. but nothing like that will happen if we don’t work on it ourselves… we are the ones that have to make the choices… we make good choices and we feel good we make bad choices and we learn from them….

I have made quite a few bad choices in my life and sometimes I let those bad choices torture me with guilt and remorse… but there is always a way out…we just have to learn to recognize it a smile from an old woman on the street…a butterfly flying around outside your window or a bird singing for you in the morning…. When we start seeing the good things and creatures that are in this world with us….even though they don’t see us and our pain….it is a good start towards healing….
Oh I just wished it was as easy doing it as it is writing it…