Well I’m still here…. I am trying to get myself together again… I have lost a lot of weight, not that I needed too and my body was getting very weak….. I am doing a little better now and I have been forcing myself to eat and that is helping me a little… There is always this little voice inside that finds away to make me feel like I am doing something wrong by “giving in” to eating again. But I don’t want to die…. I need to find out if I can beat this and if I can have a “normal” life with my wife and children… I need to get better to be able to be with them again.

Right now I am doing fine…. but I also know that I will be falling again… that’s ok because I know that then that I will be able to get up again… I have been told so many times that this is the way it goes….and it really is… Someday there will be more good days than there are bad but I have to really give all of my energy into that even when everything ahead seem dark. I have to look real hard for the light out of the darkness and always remember that it is there….