I’ve been having very bad days lately…but everytime I try to fall asleep I have bad dreams so right now it’s hard for me to sleep… I had a deam last night…
TRIGGER WARNING

—-
All my friends…online and offline…and family members were in it… they were all clapping and cheering…for me… “Good work Gabriel!” they said…

but I was feel guilty for the very same thing they were cheering me about…i wasn’t sure what they were cheering and why I was feeling so guilty so i decided to try to find out and started walking… The landscape became more darker… and more unreal by every step… there were little clouds of smoke all over the ground and as I walk further down the pathway the smoke became thicker and thicker until I couldn’t see…. then I felt “her” behind me and I felt the pain when she cut………
—
I woke up and heard a child’s voice inside whisper…iambadimbadimbad… and I knew it was going to be another bad day…..
—-
Although this is partially something that happened…that is my mother did cut me… I have never really “felt” it like this before… Before this I only knew the part of her doing it, I knew what reasons she said she had, and I even have memories of looking out the window and see the snow falling at the ground! …and now I have the pain as well……