Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine. One of the things we talked about the “rules” of our inside system….which are set for the purpose of us being able to share the body…. these rules have to do with the well beaing of the body and hmmm well I guess I’m one of those who is braking the rules the most….

My friend asked:”you wrote about .. something that keeps you going no matter how bad it gets..something that you really don’t understand…
are you sure its only you Gab&Crew that do not keep the ‘rules’..

are you sure no one else but you and crew is in power there to brake or not to brake the rules ..”

My answer: That is true that I wrote that…. and yes there is something that keeps me going both in “negative” way and in a “positive way”.
By “negative way” I mean for example ….I feel that I have to injure myself in the way the mother told me I had to… I don’t go through a day where I don’t do that in someway… Even if I believe that she was wrong (or maybe I just want to believe that she was) I am scared to death that if I don’t something will happen… I don’t know if my fears are right or wrong but in those occasions when I have not hurt the body in someway things have happened…

By positive way I guess I mean “doing the right thing” or when….like that I have had “episodes” off where I have wanted to go “too far” on to the “negative side” but then there is something that stops me, someone or something that calls out…sometimes for outside help and sometimes just for me… I think that is something that many multiples can identify with… There are many stories of a suicidal insider that tries to kill the body and then another insider in that system comes out and stops it…

I don’t believe there are anything else out there that isn’t created by us humans… I believe people created God, elves, spirits…. just as I believe that I or the birth person created my insiders… There are people that don’t agree with me on this even on the part about multiplicity…but that is ok… I think I have a right to my opinion as I think others have a right to theirs… For someone having different believes than me is not a problem for me as long as they don’t force theirs upon me….

With that said yes I am sure that there is *nothing* or nobody else than us that prevents us from keeping our “rules”…. At each minute of the day (or night) it is the one that is outside at the time, that makes a choice…. sometimes it is a “negative” choice and sometimes it is a “positive one” I believe we all try our best but sometimes the best just isn’t “enough”….

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