i guess i am not fair to people around me but that doesn’t mean that he is either. I know everybody loves him and all that and will probably think that I am bad or something. Even rain hates me now. we had a big fight and she told me loud and clear.

i first was around when the body was 16 and probably if i hadn’t come around then none of us would have a voice now coz when i came nobody wasn’t speaking. maybe there would have been someone else though, but anyway that is when i came to do, to speak. there is some other things as well but i am not going to write about that now.

i talked to someone today. nobody has asked for me like this person did before, except for our therapist and then I don’t always answer. i think she wanted to talk to me because i did something bad last night. i didn’t really expect that anyone would be interested nor that gabriel would tell people about it. i mean he has done a lot worse things to us in the past. I don’t like pain very much really. i mean i can feel it when he hurts us, he can’t. i don’t want him to hurt us anymore. he seems to listen to the person i spoke to today so i made a promise not to do anything about my desire for now and i am going to wait and see what happens. that doesn’t mean that i will stop thinking about it or wanting it though or some other things that i have seen and wanted to do.
my time is up now. they want to watch a show in tv and it is starting now