I wish I wasn’t feeling so “blocked” in my writings…. I don’t consider myself as being “a writer” but I guess everyone who writes as much as I do go through this at least once or twice… but what about a multiple household and all at once? well Darq did post an entry earlier tonight… not a very uplifting one tho but never the less a necessary one…
I haven’t been doing very well lately and I’m guessing that’s one of the reasons why I’m having so much trouble writing… I’ve been feeling unbearable loneliness lately… even though there are people around me I feel invisible…. maybe that’s just me wanting more attention or something I don’t know…. For some reason I keep on thinking that people are loosing interest in my writing because I intend to get so negative as my entries are all about issues from my past or about one of us having a crisis… In a way I know that’s not always the case… I can be possitive sometimes right? sigh…. I guess I’m not a very positive person most of the time tho…
I have this crazy paranoia that one day I will be left all alone with no one that cares about me….that no one will be around me anymore….. or that I will have no one to talk to. I have a big case of paranoia about this sort of thing…. as for an example … my therapist has been off work for a few days because her kid is sick…. I understand that part…that she needs to take care of her kids…but I feel like she has abandoned be and that she some how doesn’t want to be around me anymore…. Yes I see the silliness of this…. and yes Faith…. I feel that way about you too…. I know you suspect it I just feel horrible about telling you this because I know you are supposed to be having fun with Robert in the US and not worrying about me… Talking to you tonight helped a lot tho and we believe it helped Darq too…
Ok since you’ve read this far….. yes YOU 🙂 ….and I need your attention…. can you make a short comment to this entry just to let me know you read this far? You don’t have to write much…. a simple hi or a hug ( I like those very much) would be enough for me…. I admit I need the attention pretty bad….
Hi Gab,
Sorry that I didn’t send that email today like I thought I was going to do. Just don’t have it composed yet in my mind. I am here friend, for all you.
((((((((((Gab))))))))
How was that for a hug? I would give you so many if someday we were to meet in person.
Love ya guy,
Kathy
I’m not very good at the hugging-thing, online or offline…what can I say, I have issues too 🙂 … but I am quite good at letting people know when they’ve done well…or as well as they are able to do with the tools they fashion for themselves. So, I just wanted you to know that I have read this far, that I will continue to read as far as your words reach, and that I hope they continue for a very long time. You’ve got my attention, and as long as you write honestly, you won’t be wasting it.
Take care of y’all.
You are not alone with these feelings Gabriel. I have these feelings a lot. Me…I think about death way too much. I’ll find myself sitting thinking that I could be gone in a second. That feeling drives me crazy and I rarely share it with anyone. I love you Gabriel and I’m a good listener. xox
(((((((((((((((((((((*huggles the stuffins out of Gab*)))))))))))))))))))))))) I love all of you lots. When you get what I’ve made for you, be sure there are lots of hugs in them too. :o) I’m here if you need me..
Bri and breezy
(((((((((((((((((((((((Gabriel))))))))))))))))))))) i am reading all you write!! .. love you .. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) .. i wish you could ‘feel’ all the loving and caring thoughts of all your friends .. then you would never feel alone ever!!
hi again .. i’ve also read Darq’s new entry. .. The new design of ‘gente della luna’ is absolutely awesome!!!
.. but somehow it’s not compatible with my being on mac yet. It doesn’t
fit into my screen and the place to leave a message is out of reach (only half visible) . Also some of the writings are on top of other text:(
.. otherwise i would have left comment to Darq too.
love to you all!!!!!
Hey I totally understand you and yes sometimes it is OK to feel like that. That is when you call upon friends to send you a little me positive hugs..
I love you Gab and I am sneding you lots of positive hugs and I will be on msn as of Monday (back to work)
Oh Garbriel, you know I am not a multiple, but I have experienced those feelings too. You know being all alone and no one carry whether I am here or not. I have even been married for over 28 years and two children whom I adore, but many time I feel like my family could care less if I am with them or not. So I know how you feel and I care. I may not fully understand all that you feel and the others, but we’re all no so different in that we want to feel that we matter to others. You do and alittle reminder doesn’t hurt the soul at all. I read all you and the others write. God Bless….
((((((((gab)))))))))))) love you
((((((((((Gabriel)))))))))))
I read everything you post and I know how you feel. Separation anxiety is a very difficult thing…..I know from experience!! You are never really alone. Just reach out and take our hands…we will be there for you! Love ya!
I wish I could do or say something would make you feel better, I will say this though … I will forever be different because we crossed paths, you have left one of those footprints in my heart…I love you !
(((((((Gabriel)))))))))
I’m sorry!!!! I love you and I’ve been so occupied. We have talked about this, and I hope that helped a little. Things will get back to normal again when I come home:-) I will try to do better,Gabriel! You are not alone, and I haven’t forget about you – no way! I love you Bro! And again, I’m sorry!!!!!
((((((((((Love)))))))))))))
((((Gabriel)))))) It’s odd how I’ve never met you in real life but you somehow manage to express so much of what *I* am feeling…. I think you are an amazing writer and I don’t come here because I expect happy-happy joy-joy posts or sweetness and light… I come here because I CARE about you guys and want to know *honestly* how you’re doing. Sometimes writing can help purge some of the darkness inside, and sometimes it can’t, but just remember, whatever you say, I love you, and so do a LOT of other people.
Hey, (even though I don’t know who you are) blogging’s a really great way for you to relieve/express some of what you’re feeling. Besides, it’s somewhat comforting, for me, to know that other people have somewhat the same kinds of feelings. Take care!
We are still here Gabriel 🙂
“Looking you in the eye”
You are never alone…… (((())))
Di.
Of course we’re still here! I know I dont note very often, but usually i’ve barely time to make sure I’m all caught up… Been a rough few weeks for my DID friend too, so been struggling to just keep positive for them. I well understand that “blocked” feeling, but rest assured, it will slide by – sometimes before you evenr ealize it. Every word you set here is important, every moment you can write a few words and vent a little is fabulous. Rest assured, as all those before me said too, we’re still here for you.