Dear Beatriz
Actually you got it all wrong…sigh…
I don’t have ANY friends offline that I can talk to like I talk to my online friends…. yes I said ANY… that includes my wife and she knows this… I can “talk” to her through writing but I can NOT speak so talking to her is just the same as I talk to the people I meet online…
Hell no! I don’t find the converstation I have online shallow as you put it. I don’t think it is shallow when people actually say “hi how are you?” to me because online I can actually answer that question without feeling stupid… and I can tell the truth about how I am really feeling without getting that “theys guy is totally messed up look” from people I get in the real world… I’m sure that some online people give me that look through the computer screen but I don’t have to “be there” and see it and that works for me.
You say that basing a friendship on something as “ephemeral” as a website or an internet messenger is not the right thing for you…. that could well be true FOR YOU…. It sure isn’t for me! I started going online in 1998… since then I have learned more about myself than I did in all those years before that time. My website is more “real” to me than spending time with an offline person… my webpage is my real world… my online friends are my real friends…. my internet messengers are my real vocal cords! I base my life on the ability to be able to communicate with people through my computer and that is my only way t hold on to the people around me and when I say that Sunna and I have been talking we use these “ephemeral” internet messengers or an e-mail….
When people say something and I don’t respond I’m sure they find it weird as they know I can hear… and maybe… they have even heard “me” speak (though that was probably someone else. But they are not *me* as weird as it may sound to you… they don’t have my feelings or my thoughts… they are not Sunna’s husband or the father of my children…. I, Gabriel, am…. and without my computer….through my writings…through my websites and through my instant messengers I wouldn’t be able to share my feelings or anything else with anyone…. What you see is shallow or ephemeral is my real world.
And you got me wrong 🙂 I meant that I understood how you felt because I feel the same way sometimes. But again, I don’t know you very well, and I don’t know how your life is (you see, the internet doesn’t give us real insight sometimes).
And by shallow and ephemeral I meant that for ME the real contact is more important, but it doesn’t mean internet relationships are not valid. I actually met my husband online 😉
Hope you’re feeling better today. Take care!!
We feel this way a lot ourselves. Most of our currently close friends in 3D we met and got to know online: we have a much harder time getting to know people offline, even though we’re told we are charming and such. Thank you for sharing that someone else feels this way.