…yet another one… we’ve never celebrated it so why is this day so hard?
We are bombarded with adds… images…. messages of all kinds of loving mothers… even in my stats i find someone coming to my website through a search engine looking for “mothers day + daughter + mother + pictures…”
All of this reminds me of my own mother who did everything she possibly could to put us through as much pain and torture are possible… I’ts hard to hear friends talk about their mothers and how much they care for them… and i wonder why my mother was different… I wonder about the REAL reason for her to take a knife and make cuts in my body… i wonder why she made me stay outside night after night… not give me food for days or have her friend rape me again and again… My mother never said a good thing about us unless to put up a show for other people and when I think of mothers day this is what I see…
In spite all of this, We don’t want to not have a mother anymore.. Some of us still ache for a mother. We still wish she would suddenly come back all changed… we wish for her to love us … and in our memories to become someone who didn’t hate us….we wish for her to come and hold us in her arms and tell us that everything is going to be ok… but that will never happen… We still live by her teachings it seems. We still live in fear of her and her torture. Maybe we always will….
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Gabriel)))))))))))))))))))))))))…….. so sorry, dear friend!
… sometimes i don’t know if i should be more sorry and worried about you .. the sufferings you had to endure by ‘her’ which still are terrorizing you in your present life ..
.. or about ‘her’ .. because i’m convinced her soul now has to deal with what she had done to you …
She certainly didn’t deserve a wonderful child like you, We all see how wonderful you are, she is the one who who didn’t see clearly. Although I cannot be a mother to Gabiel (cause I’m not that OLD yet…lol) I can be a mother some of you who need a mommy hig from time to time….Love you!
(((((((((gab))))))))) see, i remembered.
i care about you even though we havent talked in a long time, and i know that…ah, i don’t know. i can’t turn the things in my brain into any words that make sense, forgive me?
you are an amazing person, one who turned into such an awesome and wonderful person in spite of what that —- (i have no words for a mother like that) did to you. you’re a beautiful person, gab…i know this hurts, and i know you still have the fear and you still feel controlled by her..i would take that away if i could. but i can’t, i can just offer a shoulder or an ear to listen or anything… and the rest of this i’ll finish in an email..i suppose :talker: fits me, go figure!
*big hugs* i can’t say i can relate, or give good advice… but i’m here to listen whenever you need it 🙂