This was a part of a comment to my “Pro-anorexia” post… posted by Artist… “I’m not pro-ana, nor am I anti-ana. I am pro-free speech. I am pro-discovering-who-you-are. I am pro-talking-about-all-the-shit-until-it-doesn’t-hurt-anymore.”

This rang a bell in my head… This statement/sentence/whatever pretty much wraps it up for me… I’ve never considered myself as being totally committed to being “pro-ana” as in that being the ultimate solution to my problems as a “friend” who e-mailed me after I posted that entry seems to think… I know that no matter how much I weigh I won’t one day start to suddenly like myself more… I don’t in fact believe that any of those who look at themselves as being pro-ana truly believe that deep down…some may think they do though I don’t know…

Although I know that starving myself isn’t a long term solution… the thing is that sometimes, like so many, I don’t want to be pushed into recovery… I know that in the end “recovery” is what I’m heading for… I want to be able to live my life without having to fight for every hour of the day… but I have to be able to do it on my own speed… I too feel that I am not being pushed to try to “get better” or “worse” when I go these forums… I know that when I feel the need to starve myself I won’t get put down for it…and I also know that when I want to stop/recover I won’t be told that I am a traitor… It all comes down to being a “pro-discovering-who-you-are” and for that to happen isn’t the way to do that to talk about it… and to be open about it… and especially to your self? or being a “pro-talking-about-all-the-shit-until-it-doesn’t-hurt-anymore”?