I’m still here… I’m doing ok I guess… but still don’t feel up to writing much… I’m a little frustrated about that…I keep thinking this will pass… There are things I want to write about but somehow I can’t… I start writing but somewhere along the lines I forget what it is that I was going to write and the entry stays half written and doesn’t really make any sense… so many of my posts end up just being “drafts”…

I have a “secret” journal…it’s not really a secret tho…it’s just a place where I can write whatever I want without really having it read by anyone… just “snippets”… or questions that I’m asking myself… some which I can’t really answer and some that I can… and for what it is worth…when I’m going through a time like I’m now… when I have a problem of putting my words down in writing I write there… it helps me from loosing my mind… or become totally silent… But really… maybe I want that to happen… sometimes I do… and I sometime wish I didn’t have to write/type/speak another word ever again…. The truth is… I don’t really know what I want anymore…