Originally posted at the ThinForums as a reply to question about “earliest memories of disorted eating”
my earliest memories are mostly abuse shit related…
…i remember being told i wasn’t worthy of getting food..
…i remember having to steal food or my sisters would smugle food to my room…
…i remember getting caught and punished for stealing food…
…i remember getting punished for eating “too much”…
…i remember being forced to purge..
…i remember being forced to eat spoiled food…
…i remember being forced to eat food that was too hot
i’m not sure about the age… from age 3 and up maybe… i dunno

I hate food…. I hate having to eat…
…eating makes me feel bad both physically and emotionally…
…not eating should make me feel physically and emotionally but it doesn’t….
Like pain… shouldn’t pain feel bad? most people would think so… but to me it is good… I need pain…
Not sure about this post… I don’t like to talk about this much but…