I wasn’t going to write about any of this…. I’m still on hiatus…. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that… but I need to write/rant about this now… Please forgive me if it comes out all wrong… My head is not working with me at the moment… and even though I’ve had some time to blow off steam I’m still feeling like I’m about to explode…
Today August 16th marks 10 years of the death of four beautiful little children. This is also marks the 10 years of the death of my abusive mother, who also lost her life in that same fire…
Everywhere my mother went people loved her… Those are the very same people that loved me once for being her son and for being that little boy who could play the piano like a grown up who had been playing for years… Those people didn’t know the whole story… to them she was a “super woman”… the mother all mother’s wanted to be… Even today, 10 years after her death I hear people telling me how “wonderful” she was… I know her differently…. She wasn’t a good person… but I don’t say anything… Some of those people have been to my website and are shocked by reading about my life with her… I have received e-mails from her “fans” who have read my writings, telling me that I am the crazy one for saying such horrible things about her “after all what she did for me”…. I am NOT the only person who knows those things about her…. my sister does too in some way… my father did though he chose not to talk about it…
We had a phone call Wednesday morning… It was from someone who “knew” my mother, informing us (me and my wife) that we are expected to attend a memorial service for her tomorrow… Never did this person mention our children one word… She just went on and on about how wonderful my mother was and how much she did for the community… and when my wife told her that we would “probably not show up” this woman started japing on about how hurt she was and how little respect we have for the dead…. Well fuck her I’m not going anywhere tomorrow…. I am going to spend time with my wife and my 3 living children, honoring the memory of Kimberly, Megan, David and Johnathan who in spite of young age are much more worth it than my mother will ever be…
I agree Gab.. and I’m glad you’re doing this for yourself. People won’t understand..but its not their business to. (((((((((((((Gab))))))))))))))) Love ya bro..
Bless the memory of those 4 beautiful children.
Follow what you know to be in your heart.
Hugsssssssssss Gabriel
((((((((((((((((((Gabriel)))))))))))))))…this morning all i saw was your loving memory page…now i am reading your words…and you know, they came out so much all right!!!!
…this world is a crazy place…i understand so well that you feel about to explode…
…but what i feel is the most important and to me very awesome thing … is how deeply and beautifully you and Sunna are honoring your children, who are really deserving it… and with this, i believe, you are also honoring yourself as well…
… at least within yours and Sunna’s hearts…this world is NOT a crazy place!!!!
…peace and love to you all…
Peace to you, friends. I wish I could give you more comfort than just these words. I wish I could offer you something, anything. All I can say is that what you’ve written about your mother reminds me of my ex-husband… something you’ve mentioned to me before in passing.
Strength to you.
You are in my thoughts today Gabriel. Do what is best for YOU and your wife and children. Take care.
There’s nothing that can be said.. but sending you our thoughts, none the less.
Take good care.
This is my first time to your site, I am in tears for your pain. My thoughts for strength to do what is right in your heart. ((hugs)) to you.
I love you Gab
(((( Gabriel ))))
My toughts are with you and your wife.
Lots of great bug hugs 🙂
hugs!
((((((((((((Gabriel)))))))))))))
*You* know, that’s all that matters. My thoughts are with you – as always – and Sunna and the kids. Take care, bro. Miss you lots and hope you’ll come back soon, but take your time. We’ll be here:-)
Love you!
(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
Hi Faith,
how do u do that authorization thing for ur website ?
I had an abusive husband that saved that side of himself for only me to see. When I divorced him, all my friends left in droves. No one believed me. He was a firefighter, and 7 years after the divorce his captain came into the ER where I worked and glared at me like I encompassed everything that was evil, because I left this “innocent” man. He’s even won awards from womens groups! Makes me sick!
I can’t imagine the conceit of people who think they know someone better than that person’s spouse or CHILDREN do. You were the one that had to live with an abusive mother, no one else. And they think they know her better than you?
I guess if they were to believe you, they’d have to believe they can’t trust their own perceptions of people. This is too frightening for them to contemplate, so they’d rather just not believe you.
Please know that some people DO know what that’s like. You’re doing the right thing by not subjecting yourself to a memorial service for a person who hurt you in so many ways. If someone chooses to judge you for that, or for your opinion of your own mother, then that just illustrates their own small-mindedness.
Gabriel and all, Sunna and your children.
I have remarkable respect for you. And honour.
The woman who claimed to be a mother to you, I dont know what to say. She lied. They lied. And you’re no pretender Gab.
I’m glad that you stayed true to your sense of self – there is no harm in being / remaining real.
You bring honour to us all.
Gab where have you been ? Havent been seeing you online for such long time
hey there, where art thou?
A friend of mine had a similar problem. Her emotionally and physically abusive mother won statewide teacher of the year. He step-brother who is severly disturbed because of the abuse and he molests children. The big problem is that he was a model student, and is teaching at the same school as his mother, where she is highly respected. My friend and I have both tried many times to expose him so he cannot teach students, because he is probably molesting them. You are not alone. (not in a creapy way, in a good way)