For some of us shame can be a powerful word… and many of us feel it every single day… sometimes it is a “good shame” and sometimes it is a “bad shame”. There is a certain amount of shame we are supposed to feel… There is a difference between “good shame” and “bad shame”… Knowing that you can’t run around the grocery store naked is a healthy type of shame, but not feeling okay at being naked in the shower is an unhealthy type of shame.
I admit that I have a lot of this “bad shame” in my life… It makes me feel that nothing about me is right. Everything I that I am makes me feel ashamed… But I know that these feelings are irrational… I know that most of those feelings are part of what I went through the 27 first years of my life… But the reality is that I’m not there anymore… I want to learn to understand that fact… I want to learn to live…
I feel that understanding and revealing that we often do things we ourselves find shameful in “protecting” our selfs, is a powerful step to take in recovery… I for one often find myself thinking about ways to justify my eating disorder or when I self harm… but the responsibility I take for these actions and what I do with the emotions that follow are essential…. I want to learn to forgive myself while also learning that by doing so I am not letting myself off the hook or excusing the behaviors as “okay”.
As humans we can feel a healthy amount of shame about what we have done (or are doing) without allowing it to be a reason to plunge further into the depths of self-hate. Rather, we can use the shame as a powerful motivation to make positive changes in our lives!