7:30am The alarm goes off… Sunna gets ready for work…kids get ready for school… I get ready for…??…what?? I wonder…
I pretty much spend my day on the computer… I usually wake up, make coffee and go online and stay online (or on the computer) until Sunna comes back home from work at around 4 5 or 6 pm (depends on the day) but really I don’t turn it off so I get on the computer every now and then after that too… but when I’m not staring at the computer screen I pretty much goof around looking down at my toes or I play the piano….

If you’d meet me on the street you’d notice a strange guy… noticeably anxious… (or looking like he was high on drugs or drunk) …looking down at his toes and desperately holding on to a pretty blond woman and/or probably holding a yellow teddy bear … or sometimes …acting like he was a 6 year old in a toy store…

I wouldn’t speak to you… even if you’d speak to me… not because i don’t want to…but because i’m afraid… I don’t want to be afraid anymore… I try to over come the fear… then it just gets too much and i panic… lose control…