I’m sick… cold, sinus/ear infection fever, headaches, chest pains… no energy… and I’ve been switching a lot… and i’m cranky….
Someone emailed me… asking me if I really have an ED… and if I wasn’t just seeking attention… tricking people into feeling sorry for me… to care about me…

… yes I’m diagnosed with an eating disorder… but how the hell should I know if I really have and ED or not…. I’m 6’1 and at the moment i weigh 118 lbs… I’ve never weighted more than 140 – 150… 144 – 189 is what is recommended for someone at my height…

I don’t like any food… I can’t even sense taste of food… I don’t starve myself too “look better”… …I don’t starve myself for the purpose of being “prefect”… …I don’t starve myself because i fear being “fat”… …I don’t feel fat…but sometimes I feel as if i am too big for the world… I’m visible… …I starve or…. eat and purge for the same purpose I SI… I do it for the pain… because that is what I deserve… and yes i probably am just tricking people in to caring about me… if I wasn’t …i wouldn’t be writing about all of this all over the place… right?

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