I’m having a hard time putting my thoughts in writing at the moment… not really big news as I go through something like this every now and then… but i hope you can forgive me if this entry goes weird… our out of context….

I’ve been trying to put together something for my therapist and it has taken a lot of my time lately… and although it has made me think about a whole lot of things in a different/more positive way than I have before….and/or the way I see myself… it has also brought back some memories from my past that are stirring things up for me emotionally… I’ve said before that since my mother’s death I have been continuing the abuse/torture that she put me through while she was still alive…. This thought has hit me harder now… and i feel so incredibly fucked up crazy because of it…but yet at the same time… i feel as i’m lost in a jungle somewhere and have no idea where to go or what to do… but i keep thinking that this might be good …somehow…

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