…a friend on an instant messenger: good morning! How are you today?
…me: (thinking: what’s so good about this morning?) I’m doing OK… how are you?
The friend replies and says he/she’s doing good… the conversation goes on with a usual chit chat… but I think to myself… what if I’d told the truth? That I am feeling miserable, that I am seeing things that aren’t there, that I am hearing things that no one else can hear, that I feel I am going to lose my mind completely… that I hate myself…that I hate my life… that I don’t care anymore… and I can’t really pinpoint why I feel like that… I don’t know what or if I can to do to make it stop….
I don’t know Gabriel.. Maybe it will come as time goes by.
There are always good days sometimes, inbetween a pile of bad days. Live for those good days, and believe in them. I do. It makes things easier, it often does.
Please just keep believing that it will get better. Maybe there is nothing you can do, nothing but wait and hold on.
Im in one of those ruts right now. Where it all just seems bad, I’m unhappy with everything and I don’t know how to change it all. I hate it.
Letting out to a close friend helps, makes things seem a little more manageable. Just take some time for yourself too, find something you like doing and DO it. To hell with everything else. Smile 🙂