…I didn’t sleep to well last night
…I have a bad headache atm
…I am terrified of failing but i’ve done that so many times in the past…
…I say i’m going to get better…and really work on thinks… but after a while i give up …give in to my self-destructive thoughts… and i fail…
…I hate the tube in my nose
…I don’t want to go through another doc appt like the one i had yesterday…
…Apparently my body is screwed up inside… from abuse and starvation… so i’ll probably have to be on tube feedings for a while…
…My doc says I have perment organ damage because of the ED… he tried to explain but i didn’t understand or wasn’t listening all that well either… *shrug*
…I’m pretty stupid when it comes to all that stuff… always have been… and it freaks me out for some reason…
…My doctor asked me to consider something that I think is called Gastrostomy Tube or G-Tube… basically it means that the tube is placed directly through the skin into the stomach
…I’m thinking about it… at least it might help with the flashbacks….
…I got a (real/snail mail) letter from Meg 🙂 :hug:
…I’m going to send one back to her
Recent Posts
Today-ish In History
- 2016: A Year ago...
- 2015: Day 1- EC Surgery
- 2004: A Good Thing...but
- 2003: Sometimes....
- 2002: random negativity
- 2001: go(o)d and (d)evil
- 1999: Wondering about the inner family
:hugs you softly:
gabriel you are so brave..stay strong and when you don’t have strength anymore we will be strong with you..
be well darlin and my pm box is always open..
Gabriel, *hugs*
I don’t know what to say…I wish you didn’t have to go through all of this. I wish no one did.
I ate chocolate today gabe. 🙁 tried to puke it up. Yah, instead, i sat here reading ur entries. Thanks a bunch hun
wahoo! i’m soooooo excited…. something to look forward to!
as far as the g-tube goes, yes i’ve heard of it. i believe it’s a surgical procedure but i’ve had plenty of friends that have had it. they say it doesn’t “suck” as bad as the ng tube — if that helps at all.
thank you for being you. you can do this… i know you can. i always say that but i never want to forget to remind you either.
Love…we all fear failing. But how would we ever accomplish anything if we didn’t at least try? The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself…right?
The fact that you are even attempting to recover just shows how strong you really are. The first step is one of the hardest to take. But you’re worth the journey.
i’ve been lurking about…. reading.
at a loss for words.
all i can say is i care.
*hugs*
take care of YOU