apparently that’s what’s wrong with me…
i’ve been searching the internet for some info on this… Gastroparesis… sounds scary to me.. [links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and more…)
some of the info i’ve found say this is serious and difficult to cure… other sites say it’s not and can easily be “fixed”…
i don’t know what to think…
my doctors don’t give me much information either… i guess at this point they don’t know much… they’ve ruled out a few things though…
all of this is so scary and too overwhelming and i have a hard time not believing the worst… I know I do that all the time anyway…I always believe that the worst possible thing will happen and i get lost somewhere thinking about that… *the worst thing*
*I know this kind of thinking is “normal” for me*
I guess this is just one of those *thinking out loud* kind of thing i guess…
well, i came across your site, from what you posted in my comments, on one of my weblogs, i went ahead and also put it up in my weblogs of links…
http://freestonelinks.blogspot.com
did you come to my main site, where I talk about my life after all of my dreams and visions of being taken by Guides to see places in the afterlife worlds, heavenworlds?
“my life after near death expereinces”
http://freestone.blogspot.com
anyway, i subscribed to your site[ i could have done so twice, my mistake, perhaps you should delete one subscription!]
well i am going to Comment, but as i do not know how much space there is my my comments, and it could be long long long…i will break up my coment into several parts!
…on to the next part
freestone
freestonew@yahoo.com
hi gabriel, hi ALL OF YOU multiples!
…second part of comments.
ugh.
..under 100lbs.
..multiple personality.
..self mutilation!
I can see why the “Cutting”!
multiples…
from what i read and experience, Guides speak of how many people who were abused greatly as a child, are thrown back into partly the spirit world so that both fragments of their past lives and/or individual earth-bound spirits are the focus of the personality!
be like there are ten kids in a house and they all share just ONE computer! betcha they sometimes fight amoungts themselves. kid number 4 hates kid number 5. Of COURSE there would be the self-mutilations! one personality hates another one of them and tries to hurt that one! so number 4 gets to cut up number 5’s arm!
and of course some of them yell and scream hate filled shouts, one to another…
As long as one member does not like another member, of your “family”, often you, gabriel, will feel “not worthey” as the member that is taking the hit, from another member, feels so so bad!
so if number 4 wants number 5 to “just go away”…why when you *are* number 4, “he” wants you to shrink to 90 pounds…50 lbs…20lbs…to nothing!! *then* number 5 will be gone and GOOD RIDENCE!!
…continued on next comment box!
freestone
number three.
so who and what are these multiples?
..could be parts and pieces of personalities of your other lives, your re-incarnational selves from other lives. there is stuff not worked out, in the Necklace of Beads, where common threads of karma link together, the beads of the lives: one bead per incarnation.
This is “Inner Conflict” taken to another level, in a sense this is also a psychological problem! there is conflict within you, between the personailty fragments and they evoke the memories of the past lives, so that there is that bleed-through to the past lives. but stil, the need to synthethise and Unite all of the fragments IS great!
as long as one part hates another part, there will be that SM..cutting…and other self-mutilations! in physical-fact, *or* in symbolisms! you could cut your arm…or you could self-sabatoge a job interview and then when you walk out of that interview office, a self of yours is in Glee as it wins over another self!
too…there are probably distinct earthbound spirits here too! “hanger-oners”. spirits who are lost but do not accept the light of heaven so that they only can be awake via being near you, and since they may not be very evolved souls, they spill their negativity into you.
but, whether spirits or life-fragments….there would be as if there are ten kids in the room, and one by one, one person sits at the one computer keyboard and monitor, called “you”! when one kid has control, he, if he does not like another kid, why he will go through the e-mail and hack and hack, that hated kids Account! “gots ya” he says!
but this is so so so hard on the computer!!
in a sense, as long as you “like” having ten users on your computer, you will have problems!
will the “REAL” gabriel please stand up?! but you say that ALL of them are real?! well, in a sense they are. they really really need ten bodies, ten incarnations, do they not: what right have they to take over yours?!
yours? ? ?
—why they all figure your life is their life: that is the trouble of it all.
either get them all to Love each other…
or have One of them be the leader.
..or have all but one leave!
..or Submit your case to a higher Spirit, for Arbetrations!…read “Jesus” or some Master that you trust, perhaps like of Sathya Sai baba!
enough for now…
freestone
uhm freestone… i’m not quite sure how to respond to your comments…or even if i should especially given the fact that I am not in a very stable and controlled frame of mind at the moment… and also that for the last month or so I have not heard or seen anyone of the other people in my household… don’t take me wrong I know they are there but not “active” so to speak… but here i am anyway…
First of all… i don’t experience multiplicity as you described… “members” of my household don’t act out on each other… this is in my opinion not what multiplicity is about…but however many people (non-multiples) seem to think it is… Even some people seem to think that the only reason for the other’s existence is to destroy everyone else and stand up as a “winner” in the end….
But i’m afraid it just isn’t that simple… Multiplicity isn’t about power of the strongest… it isn’t about one working against… or hating the others…. Being multiple does *not* mean having a bunch of people inside who are working against each other… Sure it can seem like that at times but you can also see that in non-multiples… and I feel that I as a person (or any one else in my household) is in any way different from the next none-multiple person except from this one minor detail of having to share a body out there in the “outer” world….
(I’m curious…. How btw would you explain it when a non-multiple person cuts? )
i (gabriel) have been close to my death many times… most of which “it” had my co operation… where I’ve been determined to die… I’ve gone as far as almost bleeding to death from physically hurting myself… But I’m still here… and the only way I can explain that is because someone (not *something*) inside of me wants to live… they…the other people… are what is keeping me from killing our body… I also believe this is how I/we were able to survive everything that happened in the past… the abuse and torture we went through in the past…
I can not explain why I do this to myself… and in fact if i were able to do that I wouldn’t be doing it… …I don’t want to explain it as a work of some higher power or spirit… to me that is all too easy… Also …this is the very reason I was given for all the abuse we went through in the past… but I am… all of us are… trying very hard not to believe in anything except ourselves…
i have a few choice words for the ‘freestone’ above…
just because you have a label now, i want to encourage you to not give up. to not stop fighting. you are an amazing spirit and i wish i knew exactly what to say to make everything all better. damn distance… my support is always here for you.