…yes i really am going on a hiatus… although i admit that events happening yesterday have helped me make this decision final… it has been in the air for a while I guess… I’ve been posting here less and less over the recent months…
I cannot say… nor do I know for how long…or even if I will be posting here again… but over a few months now… I’ve been slowly realizing that my life is getting shorter everyday that passes… and that I’ve allowed myself to hide behind my illness for way too long…
Post Traumatic Stress is no game… it makes you think of nothing else than things from your past… it makes you obsessed of just dwelling in the past and it blinds you of your future…
For me.. a part of the obsession and dwelling is my journal… yes it started out as a place of healing… and in some way it was…. but now I feel that it is only an excuse for me to stay in the past… and it is preventing me from looking towards the future…
There is still a long way to go from my past to my future…and I won’t say it will happen over a night and without a lot of work on my part… I am afraid…Yes, I am terrified… but i want….more than anything…. to be able to enjoy my life …and to be able to truly believe that I deserve enjoying it.
