I had an appointment with the tummy doc this morning for a regular checkup
i saw how much i weigh
(damn stupid nurse or whatever she is)
Tummy doc said my tube has to be replaced π
The tube i have now is sorta two tubes in one…
…but i’ll be getting something different now
or a separate g-tube and j-tube placed surgically..
the surgery is scheduled early on Friday morning…
i hate hospitals and i hate doctors
but i don’t know which is freaking me out more… the surgery or knowing how much i weigh π
stop obsessing about the scale, sweets. (I know that sounds impossible.) concentrate instead on feeling and looking and being healthy. π
i hate knowing how much i weigh too. it always brings mia back. or just makes me self-destructive. …but just try not to see it again. sometimes “out of sight, out of mind” works. …if it’s too much to deal with, knowing your weight right now, then that is certainly okay… and so is just trying to forget about it for now. if it’s hurting you, then it has no place there. …when you’re chosing life, it’s kind of like a fresh start… so push the past away for now and let yourself grow and heal away from numbers, weights, things like that.
…i’ll be praying for you on friday morning. π good luck with the surgery… you are an awesome person to have been through and survived so much.
*this too shall pass*
love you ~spider