I’m kinda still scared about yesterday… but i guess i’m also making an effort not to think about it all that much …but i really thought i was going to get a heart attack or something like that… I don’t really want to talk about it all that much but my doc and my therapist agree on that i am focusing on all the wrong things …whatever they are …instead of showing any interest in what’s really currently going on in my real life…
My doctor also told me that I need to be learn to be more positive toward certain things… he mentioned my stay here (IP) which is probably very true…
Changes make me anxious… and I try to avoid and/or ignore things that make me feel anxious… and usually I can… I guess that’s one of the reasons I don’t speak, …or why I don’t go outside alone… I guess that is why most of the time I have no idea which meds I’m on… or what my doctors are saying… I just don’t pay attention to them…
My therapist wants me to write something about that…. avoidance… but I don’t really have anything meaningful to say about it now… not that i normally have anyway…
I’m just going to take some of my on-line time and use it to work on my website…
Looking for the good things, or thinking positively is something I’ve only recently started to do. I heard it said like this once..
“Looking at the negative side of life, is like driving down the coast and only looking for the garbage in the ditch. If that’s all your looking for, that’s all your going to see.”
I think it’s true .. *hugs*