I’m tired… but i didn’t really have enough sleep last night …went to bed late and woke up early… must have been 3 – 4 hours tops… i’ve had a lot on my mind lately and a conversation i had with a friend

I talked about my pdoc’s latest label trip with my wife today… uhm she told me things that I didn’t even know about myself… i’d rather not go into specifics… at least for now… but from what she told me… i think i can fairly take back my previous denies of having manic episodes though…

but hey! like i said before…. to me this is just another label… It won’t change anything of who i am… right?
So… How am i doing at this very moment?

– Well i told you before i was tired… not so much sleepy tired …but the other kind…
– I have way too many things on my mind… Those “things” have been piling up for weeks actually… for months maybe… Most of them are very minor really …but once fifty thousand (or there about) minor things are put together the outcome can be quite overwhelming… and when that happens …for me at least… i’ll just start staring at the pile of all those little things and don’t know which one to pick first… and I find my mind wander out on to a thin ice where each step could be lethal…
…but then all of a sudden i hear a voice in the back of my head saying over and over again:
– “you’ll be ok… you’ll be ok… you have to believe that”
..and i realize the voice… is my own…

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