This thing is bugging me… and bugging me A LOT… a lot more than I ever thought it would… and maybe a good/valid reason for me to avoid people…
Aug 30th i was 126 lbs… September 15th 132 lbs
i know i went up to 128 at least before the surgery … but sill… i’m over 130 lbs and it’s making me grumpy…
…but 130 is also what I weighted before the tube… before I got really sick… before a lot of things… in December 2002.
I know this is a good thing… I know that I should feel good about this…
….but I don’t.
It’s a good thing. without buts!
i totally understand how you feel, having been anorexic myself. you tend to feel ugly, fat, out of control, and disgusted with yourself. you also feel obsessed with it and anxious. BUT. you are not fat and ugly. when i feel that way now, i really try to get over myself. but that i mean that i try not to think about myself and to realize there are other more important things to think about, that other people have much worse problems, and that the people who love me still love me and probably even prefer me with a few pounds on and not looking so frail and scrawny. i don’t know if this will help at all, but i think your weight gain is a positive thing.