sorry for being quiet…

sorry for not being supportive lately or if it seems like i’m ignoring people… or the fact that I seem (am) frustrated with everybody and everything…

i don’t really have an excuse… it feels like it …but really… i don’t…

it’s not that i expect an answer or a feedback of any kind… at least I know what i feel isn’t true… but can i say it?

I feel out of place… i feel like i don’t belong… not just here (on the internet) but everywhere… and it includes my family… my home… I am just not the person they want or need me to be… and maybe a part of me doesn’t even want to be that person… which is a whole different (but related) matter…

I am just too fucked up…. to fucked up to be a person… and no matter how hard I try I will always be…

…or maybe …maybe i do crave attention without realizing it… maybe when ‘everything’ is fine in my life i go look for trouble… do things to gain back the attention that I so desperately (again… without realizing it) need…

uhm whatever… I’m sorry…