I’ve been silent for too long…
It’s hard to “open up” after that long…
…and even before i went on the hiatus from my journal i was holding back…
…or maybe… i was just trying to hold back on the thoughts that were (and still are… and probably always will) bothering me… maybe i thought that not writing/talking about those would somehow make them go away… or become less painful… less scary…
…but they haven’t…
they are still there… still painful and still scary… and as long as i keep pushing them away they only seem to be getting more painful and more scary… and as they do… it becomes harder and harder to get them out…
honestly… I don’t know where to start… or even how to…
Being home is one big scary thing… out on your own …almost…
I know I’m not totally on my own but still… it feels like I am…
…but I’m OK… …or as OKAY as I can be at this point… like i’m going on auto pilot…
I don’t know how much I will post here over the future… at least I won’t make any promises… but lately I’ve been spending my computer/online time focusing on making more layouts for this site (and my forever growing “layouts, not suitable for this site / delete” folder)… and I’ll probably be adding a few of those and/or making more to add… because… well making layouts is pretty much all i can do these days… as it’s an excellent distraction from the rest of the world…
the best you can do is simply be who you are Gabriel, waht ever thatis from moment to moment. always do waht is best for you and your family… taht comes first. Miss you yes when youa re gone… but if it is bringing smiles to you and yours then waht is more important? ~be gentle with you always~
storm et all
Oh, my darling…
I love you so much…
No matter what, I will always be here for you..
So, at least, in that respect, you will never be alone..
You just focus on what is best for you…
Please take care of my darling…
(((((Gabriel)))))…sometimes if i visit but i say nothing …it is because i would want to say so much, but i do not know how to squeeze it into a few words only…
hugs and love…
I’m glad your back. No need to jump into things in the deep end, you go at your own pace. What’s important is, your back, and that’s wonderful.
You are missed.
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no more LJ?
No Gabriel anywhere.
what is going on with you?
how could you just drop out of sight like this?
ok now i am officially worried.
Now your LB journal is gone???????????
what is going on Gabriel?
How can I get in touch with you?
If I wrote you , would you write me back?
thinking of you,
Your designs are gorgeous, Gabriel, as I’ve said before. Why you aren’t being paid top dollar for them is a mystery to me. They are breath taking, each one.
But this is YOUR space, and so it has to be what you want it to be, not what we, your readers (perhaps selfishly sometimes) want it to be.
Take care, keep on keepin on and keep making those great designs. And write when the mood strikes!
Remember: Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I hope you’re doing ok my friend. I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you (((((((Gabriel)))))))))
I found myself unable to sleep last night and i was thinkng of you. wondering how you are. i hope you are ok because i still find myself today, at 4:40 in the morning unable to sleep, but thinking of you.
i see you have updated your website, which is good and positive.
i hope i hear from you. i miss you terribly and i think we are in the same space.
perhaps i will email you about it.
much love for you and your family
I a not sure what your current email address is as I have tried to write you at 2 different ones.
Can you please write me so I know you are ok.
I am starting to worry.
Gabriel, you are terribly missed. I hope that you are doing okay. I have been thinking about you and have been quite concerned and really am now that you have also disappeared from here. You are in my thoughts and prayers ((hugs))
In hopes that I can catch you soon..
It has been quite awhile now… hope you are doing better!! Squeek every once in awhile… :O)