I’ve been silent for too long…

It’s hard to “open up” after that long…
…and even before i went on the hiatus from my journal i was holding back…

…or maybe… i was just trying to hold back on the thoughts that were (and still are… and probably always will) bothering me… maybe i thought that not writing/talking about those would somehow make them go away… or become less painful… less scary…
…but they haven’t…

they are still there… still painful and still scary… and as long as i keep pushing them away they only seem to be getting more painful and more scary… and as they do… it becomes harder and harder to get them out…

honestly… I don’t know where to start… or even how to…

Being home is one big scary thing… out on your own …almost…

I know I’m not totally on my own but still… it feels like I am…

…but I’m OK… …or as OKAY as I can be at this point… like i’m going on auto pilot…

I don’t know how much I will post here over the future… at least I won’t make any promises… but lately I’ve been spending my computer/online time focusing on making more layouts for this site (and my forever growing “layouts, not suitable for this site / delete” folder)… and I’ll probably be adding a few of those and/or making more to add… because… well making layouts is pretty much all i can do these days… as it’s an excellent distraction from the rest of the world…

  1. Broken Butterfly Wings Gabriel J Arsante 7:27
  2. Coldplay - A Sky Full Of Stars - Piano Cover Gabriel J Arsante 4:30
  3. No. 11 Piano Gabriel J Arsante 2:57
  4. Forever in my Heart Gabriel J Arsante 3:36
  5. Chopin Piano Concerto No. 1 - Movem. II - Romance, Larghetto Gabriel J. Arsante 9:58
  6. Canon In D 2014 Gabriel J. Arsante 2:28