I’ve been struggling with writing on here…. back in February when I started this website again it felt easy…. to just jump back into things…. making everything work…. No pressure writing….
Now it’s somehow different…. it’s difficult to put something out there… I feel I’m censoring myself more than ever before… and since I have been going through lows in my mental and physical health it’s even more difficult….
I’ve no idea what to write about… yes there are a billion things going around in my head… and have been for a while… but they just don’t want to come out… I’ll make a list of things I want to write about…but all I really do is staring at the words listed while trying to figure out what to say on the matter…. maybe a few words will turn up here and there… but they don’t feel real…. more like they are forced to be there….
I know I am going through some sort of a quiet phase… if that makes sense… I feel I have just nothing worthy to say or at least what I want to say is just whining…. or something I shouldn’t talk about…. shouldn’t bother people… shouldn’t expose myself or bug people or whatever… I go through this every now and then…. sometimes… in the past it has ended in depression – sometimes it goes away by itself…. I don’t want to think about if it doesn’t…. or to worry about it…. that’s for later….
