When you miss someone who’s there but you don’t have the heart to bother that someone because all you can think of to talk about is off your own ugliness… You miss what you had… when it was easier to talk… to reach out and just let things out of your head…. when you had words of comfort to give in return…. but that just isn’t there anymore… not right now at least…
But you can’t find it in your heart to ‘bug’ that special someone… because even though that someone has said… and will continue to say so… say that you are not a bother…. you feel you are…. always…
You think to yourself…. as that special someone… is in a bad place too at the moment and shouldn’t have to be around your depressed and detached mind… and you feel you’ve somehow made that special someone’s life worse by showing up…
But then you remember…. even if you would make an attempt to reach out and try to ‘open up’ or even just try to be there for that special someone…. you still can’t think of anything to say….
…and all you can do from making you totally lose your mind is to play… something…. anything…
I love you…and well you should know the rest <3 I'm looking forward to mid-Dec when you are hopefully feeling better <3 You are my friend and I can't imagine not having you in my life <3 Even the small talks I cling to…
Love you too <3
Sometimes all it takes is playing a meaningful song in order for a special someone to get the message…Maybe you should try this for real?
Gabriel, I don’t know how or why I found/read your rather private blog, but it was very moving and this post was about I understand from my own experience quite well. I hope you find a way to talk to that person you write about…It would be good for both of you, but especially for you to know that you are not filled with the ugliness that you feel.
Good luck…and my very best wishes.
pam w