Awkward – Alone – Emotional

He doesn’t know how to be him

He feels he’s on the outside… looking into a window… as he does when he’s a part of a crowd… He wants to take part… but he can’t…

He doesn’t know how to do that…

He feels they care… like they know he’s standing there… but wait for him to take the step… to come on inside and connect with them…

He doesn’t feel what they say he is…

He is just one man trying to do his best to survive… trying not to break down from the thoughts of his own mind… trying not to crumble by the pictures that run through the back of his head…

He doesn’t know how to stop that from happening… he doesn’t know how to reach out to someone else…

He misses what he had… and just all of a sudden it came to an end… vague explanation… He doesn’t doubt them… but it was so sudden… and he can’t but think it was something he said… or did…

But it’s always his first thought…

Something he did…. His fault

It doesn’t matter though…. oh yes it does… but he wants to understand… and he wants it not to matter… but it does… and it cannot be replaced…

He is alone…. looking in… He knows they can see him standing there… but they all run by…

All he wants is for someone to notice …a chance to be him… a chance to let all the emotions out, the frustrations, the pain, the anger…. and not have to pretend to be who they think he is…