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Christian Per Petterson

Dec 20 1968 – April 12th 2001

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To my Friend (April 12th 2015)

Fourteen years since you left … way too soon…

I don’t think I ever thanked you properly for believing in me… for not listening when I didn’t go outside with you… You always wanted to go somewhere… wanted to study in the sun… go to a party… or meet people at a coffee house… When I wanted to lock myself in my room you persuaded me to come out from there… you saved me from myself so many time by telling me to come and talk…

We talked about anything and everything… I wanted to tell you things but it was almost like you knew already… I know you knew what I did when I was alone…. that I didn’t have to tell you unless I wanted to… and all that you asked as for me to be safe…. I wanted to and you helped me stay safe… Thank you for that…

You taught me so many things… and many of the things you taught me neither of us knew at the time… Even long after you left… I’m still learning from you… or rather… it’s more like I am just now taking in what you said… what we talked about both in our “serious” talks and while laughing together … and from the letters you left me… I realize now that I am a better person than I would have been if I hadn’t met you… because you taught me to love other people… you taught me to care about other people… you told me to laugh… and allow myself to believe that I deserved to be loved and cared about when I believed I shouldn’t be….

I want to tell you how much I wish you’d be here…. and how much …I want to hear your jokes that always made us go rolling on the floor laughing no matter how silly they were… You would have had a ball of fun with the poop jokes… and stoma farts and tummy sounds would probably have caused me a competition of some sort… I wish I could feel your hugs and have back the moments of the “serious talks” we used to have …I wish I could tell you over and over how I feel about you as my friend… my buddy …I wish I could have told you more often about how much I love you…. and how much I appreciate you coming into my life years ago and helping me to gain at least… some sense of my life… and inviting your sister to the November concert… Thank you for that…

I have so many thoughts running around in my head right now… some that make my heart filled with love …some make me want to cry my eyes out… and everything in between… I am scared for the future… but I know I can talk to you and get my strength from your words… from the memories… You are my friend… my best friend… Thank you for everything….

Love you always and forever…

Forever Best Friends

Apr 12, 2003

For Chris, 20-12-1968 – 12-04-2001

There are so many stories I still want to tell

There are so many I love yous left unsaid

There are many tears left uncried

There are many dreams left to fall apart

I miss our long talks

I miss the nights when all was alright

I love you like a brother, you were my angel,

Yet I wonder why you left me here

We were forever best friends

When one fell to the ground

The other one was there to help him back up.

We healed our broken hearts

With a hug and a gentle smile.

We stayed up every night looking at the stars,

Giggling like little girls and having midnight talks.

You said you had to go-

I wished it wasn’t so.

You said you’d still be there.

You said it would be like old times.

I looked in your eyes as you looked into mine,

With smiles like everything was fine.

Yet we both knew well that this was our last goodbye.

We knew that we would never again

Have those long talks and play like little girls again.

I knew that my angel was being taken away,

Yet we promised no matter what we’d remain forever best friends

At School – fall 84 – Chris

August 1984

Chris starts school – Roommates.

I didn’t like the idea of sharing space with someone at first…   but I fell in love with him before the end of the first month…

When he spoke he had a mild stutter…  He told he’d had it all his life and that it was worse…  He told me his had never been as bad as mine and he later told me had already had sessions with a speech therapist to help him…

He said he would teach me tricks if I wanted him to…

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